You’re on a plane moving to a new country. The plane lands and you exit into the cool fresh air. You take a deep breath.

It’s the first day of classes. You walk around trying to find the building for Rhet101. You stumble into a classroom full of people. You exhale.

You open Microsoft word and stare at a blank page. The glare of the screen gets in your eye. You begin to type. There is a small smile on your face.

It’s the end of month one of the new year and I’m still thinking about the topic of new beginnings. There is something about new beginnings that has me completely startled and exhilarated. That blank page start is something I think we all hope for and something we’re often faced with if we live long enough on this earth. We’ve all heard the age-old adage “life starts at the end of your comfort zone” well this is an analysis of what really happens at the end of that comfort zone, what happens when you “start”?

A few years ago I started brainstorming the idea for this blog with some friends. I came up with themes, topics, motifs and visuals to try and bring to life a half-baked thought I had in my head. It was tough and challenging but also fun, exciting, and daunting. In my imagination I pictured a completely refurbished me taking over the digital space. And that’s exactly what eventually happened. Of course none of it was like I had imagined. The road to start was paved with hiccups and delays. My original idea was reworked 100 times to try and fit with the times and the space it would inhabit. My fear of what failure would look like was repeatedly challenged, with some kind of doggedness taking over in the end. Starting is tough, starting tests us, but is starting also an illusion? If life starts at the end of our comfort zone then starting is that moment between what is familiar and what is new. Starting is the step we take into being in charge in the unknown. Starting is the beginning of something. But life isn’t linear. We don’t really get a break to hit “refresh”. When we start we are also taking with us all of the old parts of ourselves, all of our old patterns and cognitive dissonances. So are we ever really starting?

You know that episode of How I Met Your Mother where Barney tries to convince Ted that “newer is always better”? I feel that that’s what we humans are like with fresh starts. Before the term is even over we’re already imagining that white wedding or that new job. It’s a bit demotivating to think about, but I often feel that we want to start so bad we rarely even get going. That being said, I am a fan of the “fresh start”. If you consume media of any sort, you’ve probably come across that perfect makeover montage where the person being followed (often the main character of a teeny bopper movie coughPrincessDiariescough) goes from 0 to 100 in a matter of minutes. Their life is turned upside down and reconfigured, readying them to “take over” the world. I loathe to admit this, but that is what a “start” looks like to me. It’s a complete upheaval of all the systems/laws that existed before in readiness for some form of ultimate being-ness.

But life isn’t really like that or at least what I have experienced of life isn’t really like that. In real life, starts often look small. They’re that sip of water you take instead of wine or that breathing exercise you decide to do before falling immediately to sleep. On another note, I’ve often wondered how people who are not perfectionists handle starts. If their palms get sweaty and their brains don’t stop whirring. If they also question their entire being before they decide to take on something new. Starting is tough and can reconfigure all of the preexisting notions you had of how the world works. A few years ago I was working a job at a small startup in the events business. The job was really hectic, with a lack of structure and incredibly long work hours. I periodically went to bed at 7.00AM (and woke up again at 1.00PM to go to work). I remember before taking on the job of having a serious conversation with my boss about how I wouldn’t succumb to their crazy work hours and would draw a line between my work and personal life. But that’s not how it ended up. The job got me wondering a lot, how do we stay true to ourselves when starting? How do we honour ourselves in the face of the unknown?

Unfortunately, I don’t have a good answer for that. Lately, I have learned to take it one step at a time and not to overcomplicate things, but I still often wonder if I am honouring myself whenever I take on a new endeavour. Starting something new is a challenge I’m faced with every time I draw up a blank document. I have yet to hack a way to get rid of the pre-starting jitters. There are, however, a few key things I have learned that I would like to pass on to you.

1.It’s never how you think it will be

No matter how many time you rehearse or imagine a situation in your head, the result is usually never close to what you’ve pictured. So I wouldn’t waste any time winding the tapes or sharpening the knives, I would just charge ahead.

2. It takes longer than you think it will take

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve gotten was right before I moved to California for a year abroad. A friend of mine who had done a similar program advised me to take things easy after I moved. She said that making friends was a months-long process and to not get discouraged if it didn’t happen right away.

I would like to leave you with the same bit of guidance. However long you think it will take you to get somewhere, add on a few months. Life is long.

3. You can always recalibrate and start again

As human beings we tend to fall in the fallacy of thinking we only get one chance to do it right. The truth is that whatever you are starting you can start again tomorrow or the day after or the day after. As long as you’re breathing you have the option to start again, so take a load off.

So whether you think starting is hard or you’re completely jazzed about an opportunity for newness I wish you the best of luck in your time moving forwards. I hope you manage to make your own movie-montage moment or at the very least start with one deep breath in.

Yours from the very beginning,

Girl With One Earring