My dreams are always so lifelike I wake up lost in a world I’m convinced is mine. The guy I met and went on a perfect date with. The friend I had an intimate adventure with but haven’t actually seen in real life in two years. California. Oh, California. When I dream, I sail away. It is insane to me that my subconscious can come up with such detailed and lifelike scenes. That, emotions I am not sure I’ve ever felt IRL, I can suddenly grasp the full spectrum of in Dreamland.

Yesterday I had a dream about the man I was gonna marry. He was in his 40s, easygoing, calm and very patient. The dream took a bit of a weird supernatural turn, with his family members getting involved and him turning out to be a bit of a psycho, but for a tiny blimp there it was…. L O V E. An experience so otherworldly for me that I woke up shook.

This is not new to me. I have had many dreams so vivid and moving that I still remember them to this day. The time I dreamt my ex got so drunk he needed someone to take care of him. The time I dreamt I went to Santa Barbara and saw my friend’s new apartment overlooking the beach. The time I fell in my bed after “flying”. The time my mom was chased by dogs? (Or something to do with dogs and my mom).  But this time I was surprised at the tenderness that this romantic dream elicited within me. At the depth at which I can love, even if only for a few hours (or minute, how does one measure dream time, anyway?). How can one “know” in a dream that something feels right and yet not have experienced it outside of the sleeping world. How can one know what to say, how to touch, the degree of someone else’s feelings (and intentions) in a dream and marvel at them in the waking world?

I’d like to say that I’m not too caught up on how much these dreams mean, even though I carry many of them with me in my regular hours.  At this point I just try to enjoy the ones I can. What I do get caught up in a lot in, though, is returning patterns. I’ve had maybe a hundred dreams about failing a math exam and needing to wax. Is this my subconscious manifesting its fear or some form of foreshadowing? When dreams turn a bit too close to reality I get scared. Will I get my period because I dreamt it’s coming or is my fear making me dream of getting my period? Do I secretly hate that person that bugged me in my dream or is this a look into his/her true nature? Normally I would google “why do we dream”, but for some reason I like the not knowing. There is a sacredness to dreaming that I don’t wanna disrupt with internet information.

What do you think? Do you still remember your dreams? 

In all cases, this love dream had me wondering if maybe these lifelike dreams are worth something. If real love feels 1/10^th as good as this dream love, maybe I am missing out on something. Maybe, our dreams are actually our guides to the real world. Do you agree?

Catch you in my dreams xxx

Girl With One Earring