I used to think “how does that make you feel?” was a funny one-liner when taken in connection with therapy. Something meme-worthy but not something that happens IRL. Therapy is one of those loaded words that depending on your background immediately elicits a lot of feelings. Some people shirk from it, some people can’t get enough. In the Arab world, at least, it is largely not normalized, although I’m discovering that a growing number of young adults, especially from the upper class, are now in therapy.

I have a lot of opinions about therapy. I hate it. I love to hate it. I love it but hate it. The word “hate” definitely features a lot when talking about this topic. And yet, therapy has also been a saviour in recent times. 

 I never knew what to expect of therapy. Having grown up in a stable household it was never anything I had an interest to seek out. And yet recent happenings have driven me to want to get a second opinion on some of my internal impressions. What I’ve experienced of therapy has been manyfold. I’ve tried the diagnostician who primarily focuses on meds and minor lifestyle changes. I’ve tried the talker that makes you track your history and triggers. I’ve tried the CBT professional who gives you homework and asks you to show up. I can’t say that I’ve been wholly convinced of any of these approaches, but I have entered therapy with an open mind.

If you’ve never been to a therapy session here is what largely happens:

You come in with a topic or the therapist has prepared some talking points based on the issues you outlined in your first session

You are asked to reflect on this topic and share your opinions

The therapist, by way of questioning (if he/she is a “good” therapist), brings you to a place where you can see the topic in another light or notice patterns in your thinking.

You make some notes for your next session, get homework, whatever.

Regardless of what approach your therapist uses, if he/she is a psychiatrist or a psychologist, this is broadly what a session might look like. Now I’m betting all of you are secretly asking yourselves the question: does therapy work?

The answer to that is, of course, not going to be a straightforward “yes” or “no”. Therapy, just like anything else, is a process. A lot of it depends on the treatment method and the “shatara” (strength) of your therapist himself/herself. Personally, after having lived a bit in the States, I’ve found that therapy there tends to be “overdiagnosed’ and overmedicated. I’ve also noticed that with some people therapy can turn into a bit of a cycle or an addiction. Many people that have done a lot of therapy have a problem with letting go and moving on to the next step (solo).

Here are some of my takes from therapy about therapy:

1. Therapy is not just a diagnosis. What comes after the diagnosis is what it’s all about.I have many friends diagnosed with “anxiety” or “depression” with no clue what the concretely means and how to handle it.
2. Find a therapist who gels with you. The right therapist is everything. Find one whom you respect and who shares similar values as you. Your therapist should challenge you, not be your best bud.
3. Have an exit strategy. Talk about what your goals are and what it will take for you to get out of therapy. You don’t want to get in the cycle of rehashing the past over and over again.
4. Medication in moderation. Medication is always a serious business and is not to be trifled with. Be wary of the side effects. Use this as a last resort, always.

Lately, I’ve tried somatic therapy or somatic experiencing. As the word implies, somatic experiencing focuses more on the body and what you are going through in this moment. It seeks to have you fully experience the feeling and move it out of your system. I can’t tell you whether or not it’s working yet, but I can say that it stands as a testament to how varied treatment forms are that this type of therapy exists.

An outtake from my most recent therapy session:

“How does that make you feel?”

“Good.”

“What does good mean?”

“I don’t know. Good.”

“You know me better by now than to think I’ll take that for an answer.”

“Warm.”

“That’s better.”

Whatever your take on therapy, whether you think everyone should try it or you think it’s a rip off, some form of self-care is worth practicing. If you are opposed to having someone shrink your head (as I am on most days), consider some minutes of daily meditation. Going inwards is usually the best way to find out and cope with what’s going on outwards. A run is also a good idea. Something about the endorphins mixed with the solitude really makes you reflect and go deep. I’m sure you’ll find what’s best for you.

Happy therapizing.

Yours,

Girl With One Earring