New Year, New Me

All, Doing
28.12.22

Hypothetical Scenario: It is January 1^st. You’re hunched over the toilet still dressed in last night’s skirt and blouse. Little pieces of glitter are coming off from around your eyes and you seem to have lost your right shoe. Your head starts pounding, and your stomach starts gurgling again. What do you do?

Do you:

Throw up again
Grab some water to hydrate
Find the ibuprofen
Call your mom (a friend/ your roommate)
A,b,c and d

f. none of the above, you can’t move

It’s that time of year again. The holidays are upon us and with them comes some serious self-reflection and self-upheaval. Wherever you are in the world you are probably making big plans for the new year. Let’s all be real for a moment; it’s been a tough few years. With the pandemic finally coming to an end, we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. For many of us this year marks not just the end of another year, but the end of a cycle of fear and introspection. This year marks the first time in a couple of years where we are actually able to go out and celebrate and be with our loved ones (physically and in person!) I don’t know about you, but I’m excited for the potential that this New Year’s holds. I’m not a big New Year’s celebrator in general but something about this one has got me feeling weirdly hopeful.

“It’s like weekend energy x100. Except globally” a friend of mine proclaims. “It’s a last big celebration during which you absorb as much drive and motivation to face the bitter cold of January and February and see beyond them to spring ahead.” New Year’s Eve was never a big deal to me. For some reason no matter how hard I tried to make New Year’s special, it always eluded me. I have always celebrated, but inevitably most of that celebrating would go awry. In my youth I had some dreams of the perfect New Year’s night followed by the perfect New Year’s kiss, but those never panned out. In fact, New Year’s has always been a slew of badly organized parties and logistical horror. I recall weeks of arguing over plans on whatsapp and attending several parties that cost too much and gave back too little. But there was always a hope that next year would be different. And I guess that is the thing about New Year’s it always gives us hope.

“I don’t think I’ve had a special relationship with New Year’s. But now I feel like any opportunity I get to look at something as a “renewal” or death/rebirth, letting go…etc I’m like YES I’LL TAKE IT. What can I release and bring more of into my life?”

“New Year’s to me is a time of new beginnings and second chances. It’s a time to press re-start (hopefully without the “re”). It is excitement. It is possibilities.”

“I used to pretend I don’t celebrate New Year’s because when I was young the social aspect of it would stress me out and I’d get anxious of being excluded. But since I’ve grown older, and to be frank, have not been excluded, I enjoy celebrating it very much.”

I’ve been asking people how they feel about this upcoming end of year and have gotten very different responses. From those who couldn’t care less, to those who are going all out, to those that are just hopeful for some change, everyone seems to have a different opinion on New Year’s. Personally, my favourite New Year’s Eve ever was probably the new year of 2013/2014. My friends and I were in Gouna and had no concrete plans, so we all wound up at Irish Pub for some reason or other. It was a mixture of people from different friend groups and different ages and somehow we all meshed really well together. The pub let us play our own music and at the countdown we hugged and held each other. Every once in a while a night will come around that is so magical and perfect that it somehow gives you hope. That’s what the New Year’s of 13/14 did for me and I think that’s what New Year’s Eve in general embodies: the hope for some magic. Key to New Year’s is this idea of renewal or a fresh slate. It’s a little like the concept of Muslim pilgrimage,but without the religious aspect. I love that people take the new year, or the ending of the old year, to take stock of their lives and see what can be improved on. If nothing else New Year’s gives us the space for some self-reflection and the opportunity to make a shift.

Contrary to everyone else I have spent the past three New Year’s in my bed, asleep. I was coming out of a time of health fluctuation and so I had taken a vow to myself to prioritize my wellbeing above everything, and that included sleeping early (regardless of what day it was). I had been through a lot and only wanted to celebrate in so far as it concerned having a tight routine and a sustainable practice. I regret that a little, because it distances you from the Zeitgeist and doesn’t allow you to join the death/rebirth cycle. Whether we actively think about it or not, New Year’s is a time of ending and beginning and it is perhaps the only “holiday” that celebrates this natural cycle (maybe Easter also?). Not just celebrates it, but absolutely epitomizes it. I have some qualms about the fact that our biggest celebratory event takes place in winter— a time that is known for hibernation and retreat. It seems to me that instead of following the Gregorian calendar’s end, a more seasonal breakdown would work better. Hence, our big New Year’s party might be better suited to spring (or even summer).

Recently I have taken to writing down my weekly goals and checking them off as I go along. I’m very small picture focused and so New Year’s gives me the perfect excuse to re-calibrate and focus on a larger plan for my future. What that plan is I am still unsure about. As a critical thinker I’m often faced with this dilemma of should I even plan for my future? If we are supposed to live every day as if it’s our last, then shouldn’t it make the most sense to just live day by day? In the past few years I have followed this philosophy and so not made any resolutions, but this year something has got me thinking more deeply about my ideal self. I feel like I have many loose ends that I have not tied up and so making resolutions feels like the perfect way to honour this end and forge a new beginning. If taken as a practice, with a proper ritual tied to it, writing resolutions can come to mean more than what we think it does. One of my favourite memories is a resolution writing circle that some of my friends and I did in Aswan many years ago. We took turns writing down the changes we wanted to make and witnessed each other’s hopes for the future. Although the trip itself was weird, that moment always stood out as being really special for me. It felt like the beginning of a shift in perspective. It was one of the only times I made resolutions and kept them, because of how they had come to be in the world. I wasn’t alone in them.

One of my best friends was just telling me today how New Year’s only symbolizes work to her. New Year’s—to her— marks the end of the fiscal year, and the time in which work commitments pile up. She feels forced to take a vacation at this time— just because everyone else is— and has proclaimed it “the most overrated night of the year.” Personally, I digress. Just like everything else I think New Year’s is what you put into it. If you honour where you’re at in life and are honest with yourself about your needs, it can be a time of great healing. You don’t have to party just because everything else is. You can choose how you want to honour this “end” and what is meaningful to you. Sit and cuddle up with a book. Spend it with family. Plan a nice dinner with your partner.

This year is the first time in maybe 10 years or more that I am spending NYE in Cairo. Usually my friends and I always plan a trip to celebrate, but this year we’re waiting for my best friend to give birth (she is due on the 1^st). It’s a little surreal to be in one’s routine and not have a whole change of venue to give one the time and space to reflect. I am finding it very hard to be in the present and to work on letting go of the past. Everywhere I turn there is a reminder of something that I have to do or someone that I’d promised to meet.

How do you disconnect? Do you find it tough to get into the NYE frame of mind?

I guess more so than anything New Year’s is a time of new beginnings and grace. We are lenient with ourselves for whatever was not accomplished and we give ourselves the space to grow and to make new promises be. Personally, I have had a lot to reflect on. This year has really been a teacher in slowing down and making every day count. After suffering through my health troubles, I have learned the value of a solid routine and the importance of doing something you love every day. This year has taught me to be kind to myself and to exercise— even when I don’t feel like it. It’s taught me that it’s the small things that matter and that more often than not reading a good book can cure any type of emotional hangover. Since we are being honest and whatnot I figured I’d share my list of New Year’s resolutions with you guys. It’s up to you to hold me accountable!

GW1E New Year’s Resolutions: