I was recently contacted by a company in the news field for an opening they had as a reporter. Their recruiter— or HR person (or whatever)— found my Linkedin and felt like, based on my previous experience, I would be a good fit for their organization (which if you’ve seen my Linkedin is pretty preposterous). This is not the first time I’ve been contacted for a role that someone felt I would be good at. For some reason I have the kind of face, or the kind of experience, where people tend to think I would flourish in their business. It is a blessing and a curse. In recent years I have mostly been unemployed. For health reasons, I haven’t been able to keep a job while also doing what I needed to do to get better. Hence, when I got the Linkedin message, I was a bit thrown. What did this mean? Was I back on the market?

My relationship to work has always been a bit of a seesaw. I go through periods of intense job commitment, followed by periods of intense disillusionment with the whole system. My mom’s cousin likes to make a joke about how I can’t keep a job “so what job have you left this summer?” he asks me every time we meet. It would be funnier if it wasn’t so true. Since the start of my working career 9 years ago I have had 4-5 “serious” jobs and 2-3 mini jobs. I don’t think I’ve kept any job for longer than a year. My jobs have covered all manner of range from teaching to content creation to project management to production. If it pays, I’ve likely tried it. More recently I have been concerned with the idea of creating a lifestyle that pays, instead of a specific job that pays. I have tried to delve into the world of passive income, while keeping the strings of my active income in my own hands. Consequently, I’ve been trying to freelance.

I don’t know where you are in your working journey, but I guarantee you that if you’ve been at it for a while you’ve probably tried to turn the tables by doing your own thing. I learned very early on in my career that I was not the type of person who works well under a boss. The creativity and freedom I require to produce my best work is often stifled in a “traditional” work environment. But I’ve been struggling with how to turn that knowledge into action. Part of why I started this blog was to give myself some autonomy while growing a skillset (writing) that might be transferred to bring in work. If it resonates with people, umso besser. In my working journey, I learned that if you have a skillset you can offer people it usually makes you much more valuable, hence why designers and digital marketeers are so sought after. Thus, I decided to make writing my focus and pour all I had into amplifying my talents there. But one question kept— or keeps— coming up for me: Do I really want to be working with what I love?

If you’ve grown up in my generation (so you’re in your late 20s or 30s) you’ve probably been fed the line to “follow your passion” and “chase your dream”— the opposite of what your parents grew up hearing. People in my age group believe (or want to believe) that work should be something you love, and that it should fulfill you monetarily, creatively, and intellectually. For many of us, a job isn’t just a job, it’s a life. Or part of a life. But lately I’ve been seriously questioning this philosophy. After leaving the business world for a bit and reigniting my love of writing, I’ve wondered if it makes sense to make my passion also my meal ticket. Yes, I could probably work with my writing, maybe even do it well, but would commodifying it ruin the joy that I get out of it? Would writing for work fulfill me in the same way that writing for pleasure does?

My brother works at a corporate firm doing something in digital strategy. He works long hours and is often on call on weekends, but to him the job is just that. A job. Something to pay the bills and bring him some income so he can actually do the things he likes to do (like go diving). I admire this separation that he is able to make but find that I cannot really do it myself. If I’m going to devote hours of my life to something, it better be something I fucking give a shit about. Spoiled, I know, but also honest. My generation is obsessed with finding our “calling”. I don’t know if it’s all the media that we’ve consumed or the stories we’ve heard growing up, but for some reason we have been fed this lie that there is one true path out there for everyone. That there is one thing that will fulfill us. “What if I just don’t have a talent?” my friend recently asked me. I wanted to comfort her and tell her that everyone has a talent, but to be honest I wasn’t sure what hers was either. What if some people are just not meant to actualize themselves through work? What if your “talent” just never shows? I guess on a grander scale, believing in the “passion” myth is a little like believing in fate. Is there a thing (or many things) that a higher power is trying to realize through our existence? Are we born for a specific purpose, or is it all just random?

Personally, I recently underwent a major belief-shift. I used to really believe that there was some sort of pre-destined path for each of us. That there was something that we find ourselves called to do, and that it is up to us to search for it/ give it a chance/ make room for its existence. After the last three years though, I’m inclined to think that life is just random. That we make decisions and things happen to us and it’s all kind of hit or miss. I’m not sure I believe in a “purpose” anymore.

When I was working at RiseUp 6-7 years ago, it was our job to come up with topic discussions that would turn into talks and panels. A popular one was “how to create a work-life balance”. It is ironic that this was a topic we put on the summit agenda, considering the complete lack of work life balance that most of us working at the company had. I can’t tell you how many people I witnessed burn out at RiseUp, but for some reason we put up with it because the people working with us— our team— was so incredible. If you’re about to knock yourself out for a job, at least make sure that the people with you in the boat are the ones you want to be there. That being said, though, I am seeing more and more young people wear themselves out for a job that doesn’t pay them nearly enough. Burnout is real folks, and in our age group it’s becoming en vogue. Just the other day I was talking to a friend and asking her about the job she had just left and the only response she would give me is “can’t. PTSD”. She literally couldn’t even bring herself to comment on the subject, that’s how much it had left an impact on her. And this isn’t a one off either, most people that I know who’ve left a job have done so because it was emotionally and often physically scarring. What does that say about the state of work culture these days? What does that say about us as a generation?

In her celebrated memoir Thrive Arianna Huffington recounts the moment she collapsed on the floor from exhaustion and hit her head open, resulting in a real wake-up call as to how she was living her life (and how much of her time and energy she was dedicating to work). In the book she goes over what she terms the Third Metric, a third measure of success that goes beyond money and power. She outlines four pillars to living a “good” life: well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving, and explains practical tools to incorporate them into your life. I didn’t suffer a collapse in the way that Huffington did, but I did have a moment of complete breakdown over work-related drama while I was still at RiseUp. I remember hiding out in the little passageway under the stairs of the GrEEK Campus and crying my heart out, really soul-deeply blaming myself for everything that had gone wrong and wasn’t going according to plan.  It hit me so hard that I struck up a fever the next day and had to stay in bed for a few days to recover. This is not the last wake-up call I was to get while in that job, but it is the one where I look back and think: “really? you let that happen to you?”. I’m sure you have your own stories of work-related burn out and I wonder if you are also left thinking “it wasn’t worth it”.

My friend Farida recently started her own company. After years of working for “the man” she decided it was time to focus on what she loved and to do so in a way that brings her pleasure, so her and her brother started their own video production/creative consulting startup. Besides the projects that bring in money, she has made it a priority that they also work with other young creators who are just starting out on what they call “passion projects”. These projects are designed to keep their creative juices flowing and ultimately foster a kind of network or community of creators. “I think it takes a belief in your value and what you have to offer,” she explained to me, when asking her about the career shift. “What a beautiful world it would be if we could nurture each of our own unique abilities and drive up the value of that”. A few years ago, I would have called her a dreamer, but in the post-Covid world I think a lot of people have learned the value of their work and time. For many of us, the pandemic really helped us zero in on what is important in life and discover what ends we are willing to go to keep those things. As a wannabee freelancer I have tried to take this sentiment to heart and discover what my own “worth” is, in what I can offer, beyond what I can offer. So far, the best that I am coming up with is that time is precious and to waste it doing something you don’t care about, something that doesn’t align with your values, is a real shame.  

My go-to guide for work well-being:

• To avoid procrastination, start with the hardest job on your work to-do list
• Don’t check emails on waking. Charge yourself up first.
• Bulk similar tasks together (if you are writing e-mails, try to keep all the e-mail writing in one faqra of your day).
• If you find yourself dreading getting up in the morning that’s a strong indicator that something is wrong.
• Take frequent creative breaks. Go for a short walk. Meditate. Eat some brain food. Chat with a friend. Your day as a whole should leave you recharged not depleted.
• Don’t underestimate the power of background music
• Remember to take vacations. You are owed them.
• Every once in a while disconnect completely from your phone.
• Spell and grammar check.
• Hydrate with water (not just coffee).
• Keep notes of things that inspire you. Share with others.
• Consider a standing desk

I don’t know what I’m going to do about this job opportunity that’s just come my way. A big part of me wants to take it, because it’s money, because it’s experience, but the bigger part of me also wants to say “F You” to the man and see if I can forge my own path. I don’t know if writing is in my future, at least as a career, but for the first time in a long time I’m excited to find out. I hope wherever you are reading this that it reminds you that you too are worth more than just a few figures on a sheet of paper, I hope that you avoid burning yourself out and discover your own metrics of work-wellbeing. I hope that you find a passion in working, if not necessarily “the” passion.

Creatively yours,

Girl With One Earring