For the last couple of weeks I’ve been rewatching Gilmore Girls. This is probably the 100th time I have rewatched it and counting. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. In fact, I have no doubt that you have your own go-to series that you put on whenever you’re feeling sad, lonely or just bored.But it made me wonder a lot about what it is that draws me to this rewatching?Is it the small town charm? Is it the witty dialogue? Or is it something else, something deeper?
Nostalgia is defined as “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past”. We’ve all gone through it and we’ve all been privy to it. I have regular conversations with my grandma about what life was like under the monarchy, the subtext being that we should go back to that time. But it got me wondering a lot, is it healthy for us to be nostalgic?
Many of my firsts happened watching Gilmore Girls. The first time I learned about the importance of wallowing post break-up, the first time I saw an awkward response to the words “I love you”, the first time I heard a horrible French accent. Gilmore Girls has seen me through a lot, and I guess it’s those memories I attempt to access when I put it on again. The funny thing is that my life could not be further from that of Rory and Lorelai. I do not live in a small town, I have never attended an ivy league college, I did not even really have boyfriends for most of my life. So when I am watching it, what is it that I am really trying to access, if not shared experiences? I guess it’s a certain feeling I am longing for. Maybe a younger, more naïve understanding of the world. If TV shows portray a certain Zeitgeist, then rewatching is really the longing for a different view of the world.
I once did a survey about nostalgia for a project. The question was “What makes you nostalgic?” The answers ranged from everything from bunk beds to Bimbo chocolate. I remember thinking what a trip it was that all of these people immediately had an answer to something they were wistful for (over 50 people took part) and I was floored by the fact that most of their answers weren’t repeated. This survey proved to me that as a species we were all wishing for parts of the past. But I will take it even further than that, I will postulate that our tendency towards nostalgia is actually a longing for connection. When I watch Gilmore Girls I’m not really thinking about all the ways in which Rory/Lorelai and I are or aren’t similar. I am however wondering about all of the other girls (and boys) whose lives have been touched by following the mother-daughter duo’s journey. Gilmore Girls, transcends me in a way, tying me to all the other viewers of the show that feel something when they follow this heartwarming plot.
So back to the “is it healthy for us?” question. I guess it depends where we are viewing it from. If we are repeating an experience out of nostalgia, one would like to hope that our stance on this experience has changed. If for example I’m rewatching Gilmore Girls, am I still rewatching it through a teeneager’s eyes or has life allowed me to move on and see new nuances in the show? Have I learned anything from it/about it, or am I still the same person? Do I still think that Lorelai’s obsession with coffee is something to aspire to, or have I learned what one cup too many can do to you?
Friends of mine have argued that rewatching and nostalgia are dangerous, because of the way it glorifies the past and –as someone who definitely has a tendency towards the nostalgic— I would second that. I will however also put forth the argument that nostalgia is necessary for our development. Only in comparing to the past and being wistful for what we had, can we begin to see the flaws in our thinking/being. To put it differently, only in surrounding myself with the familiar i.e. rewatching Gilmore Girls, am I able to see it through fresh eyes and realign the parts of myself that are still growing up.
Do you have a favourite binge-show?
What are you nostalgic about?
Do you think nostalgia helps or hurts us?
Wistfully yours,
Girl With One Earring
HIMYM